The Chinese character 忍 is often translated as “to endure” or “to tolerate.” Like other translations from Chinese to English, this interpretation does not cover the full scope of the word. Nor does it capture the deeper aspects of this beautiful language that I grew up with. As I work on
I really appreciate this entry on 忍 (tolerance, endurance, withstanding pain). In fact, I appreciate your entire Character Project--the way you use individual characters or phrases to delve deeper into the Chinese culture is really illuminating and helpful for me to understand myself through my cultural heritage. I sometimes write about these things in my own newsletter, too. In this entry, your description of how your parents grit their teeth and sacrificed themselves in their immigraiton process rings true in my own experience too.
The part that speaks to me most deeply is your insights into how the concept of 忍 can take on the extreme form of emotional suppression: "I've seen what happens when you grit your teeth too much. It can make you hard. You push your emotions down, when really you need to bring them to the surface. It can make you deny your pain when what you really need, instead, is to embrace it."
I can't agree more! I think being able to endure and tolerate hardship and pain is a discipline that can be beneficial when times get tough. However, the suppression of how we feel, to the extent that we deny its presence and its function (all emotions are intelligent and serve different functions), can have detrimental effects. I have witnessed that in my family members' and my own life as well. I have experienced deep depression and suicidal thoughts because of such suppression. By allowing pain and sorrow to surface, and listening to my inner voices, I finally started to acknowledge and honor my emotions that resulted from responses to pain and trauma. This led to a great sense of relief and liberation, and a healthier sense of self.
I applaud you for breaking this culturally laden generational pattern by raising your kid differently and encouraging her to embrace her emotions.
I think that we can leverage the discipline of 忍 in healthy measure, but being mindful of overusing it can help prevent us from abusing ourselves.
"I think that we can leverage the discipline of 忍 in healthy measure, but being mindful of overusing it can help prevent us from abusing ourselves." This is so on point!
Could not agree more, thank you for sharing your personal experience and I'm sorry that you went through the more extreme versions of this character, similar, I imagine, to many people in our culture.
Thank you! Yes, I think many in our culture share similar experiences under the umbrella of 忍 . Your empathy really lends depth to your interpretation of Chinese characters.
Agreed. Definitely collectivism at the root of it. Is it because of population density? Hence why need to sacrifice for the self to help the larger collective?
If so, curious why other dense cities / countries did not adopt a similar perspective. (Mainly thinking of NY as a prime example.)
I'm not sure it's because of population density. My African culture holds the same value as well. I think it may have to do with how the socities function. If you live in a small village for example, all members may depend on each other for food. There may be a group of people who fish, another who go out to hunt, others who build homes etc. While in North America, any individual can go off to a local grocery store to buy food. We don't even need to think about the people who bring food from farms into the grocery store. The whole process is individualized.
I haven't been to NY but I think everyone there, like in other big cities is trying to figure out how they can survive on their own for various reasons. The thought of reaching out to others rarely comes into play. It could explain why even when people from collectivst cultures immigrate to countries holding individualistic cultures, younger generations end up having individualistic values.
These are just my thoughts. I'm sure there's some sociology research out there that can explain better than I can 😅
Thank you for sharing Victoria, these are great thoughts! I'm sure these some research out there aligned with what you're saying here, it makes a lot of sense. And great food for thought.
"It could explain why even when people from collectivst cultures immigrate to countries holding individualistic cultures, younger generations end up having individualistic values."
👆 This is so true, and also, I wonder an indicator of the socioeconomic currents that ripple through our world. Perhaps collectivist cultures exist in times of resource scarcity, but also abundance increases, so does the desire for individualistic values.
I really appreciate this entry on 忍 (tolerance, endurance, withstanding pain). In fact, I appreciate your entire Character Project--the way you use individual characters or phrases to delve deeper into the Chinese culture is really illuminating and helpful for me to understand myself through my cultural heritage. I sometimes write about these things in my own newsletter, too. In this entry, your description of how your parents grit their teeth and sacrificed themselves in their immigraiton process rings true in my own experience too.
The part that speaks to me most deeply is your insights into how the concept of 忍 can take on the extreme form of emotional suppression: "I've seen what happens when you grit your teeth too much. It can make you hard. You push your emotions down, when really you need to bring them to the surface. It can make you deny your pain when what you really need, instead, is to embrace it."
I can't agree more! I think being able to endure and tolerate hardship and pain is a discipline that can be beneficial when times get tough. However, the suppression of how we feel, to the extent that we deny its presence and its function (all emotions are intelligent and serve different functions), can have detrimental effects. I have witnessed that in my family members' and my own life as well. I have experienced deep depression and suicidal thoughts because of such suppression. By allowing pain and sorrow to surface, and listening to my inner voices, I finally started to acknowledge and honor my emotions that resulted from responses to pain and trauma. This led to a great sense of relief and liberation, and a healthier sense of self.
I applaud you for breaking this culturally laden generational pattern by raising your kid differently and encouraging her to embrace her emotions.
I think that we can leverage the discipline of 忍 in healthy measure, but being mindful of overusing it can help prevent us from abusing ourselves.
"I think that we can leverage the discipline of 忍 in healthy measure, but being mindful of overusing it can help prevent us from abusing ourselves." This is so on point!
Could not agree more, thank you for sharing your personal experience and I'm sorry that you went through the more extreme versions of this character, similar, I imagine, to many people in our culture.
Thank you! Yes, I think many in our culture share similar experiences under the umbrella of 忍 . Your empathy really lends depth to your interpretation of Chinese characters.
Thank you so much Louisa, that means a lot.
Very interesting, I haven't notice before the word endure in patience for example.
Maybe the word endurance sounds the same with compassion, because compassion makes endurance easier? Especially compassion to self...
"Compassion makes endurance easier"
This just blew my mind Rachel. I can't believe I never made that connection before. Thank you for sharing this gem of an idea. 💎
It's similar to the Christian virtue of Fortitude. Suffering for a moral good. People do need to remember to love themselves however.
The beauty of tones giving what seems to be the same word different meanings.
Growing up I also heard the concept of 忍 expressed. I find it very common is eastern cultures.
It's wild how much it permeates so many cultures in East / Southeast Asia. I wonder why.
It may have to do with collectivist values were everyone is expected to do their part so everyone can succeed.
Agreed. Definitely collectivism at the root of it. Is it because of population density? Hence why need to sacrifice for the self to help the larger collective?
If so, curious why other dense cities / countries did not adopt a similar perspective. (Mainly thinking of NY as a prime example.)
I'm not sure it's because of population density. My African culture holds the same value as well. I think it may have to do with how the socities function. If you live in a small village for example, all members may depend on each other for food. There may be a group of people who fish, another who go out to hunt, others who build homes etc. While in North America, any individual can go off to a local grocery store to buy food. We don't even need to think about the people who bring food from farms into the grocery store. The whole process is individualized.
I haven't been to NY but I think everyone there, like in other big cities is trying to figure out how they can survive on their own for various reasons. The thought of reaching out to others rarely comes into play. It could explain why even when people from collectivst cultures immigrate to countries holding individualistic cultures, younger generations end up having individualistic values.
These are just my thoughts. I'm sure there's some sociology research out there that can explain better than I can 😅
Thank you for sharing Victoria, these are great thoughts! I'm sure these some research out there aligned with what you're saying here, it makes a lot of sense. And great food for thought.
"It could explain why even when people from collectivst cultures immigrate to countries holding individualistic cultures, younger generations end up having individualistic values."
👆 This is so true, and also, I wonder an indicator of the socioeconomic currents that ripple through our world. Perhaps collectivist cultures exist in times of resource scarcity, but also abundance increases, so does the desire for individualistic values.